Cockroaches, Fireants, and Humidity- oh my!

So, what has the Texan college kid been up to?

well... in my first week, I got bitten by fire ants, encountered numerous cockroaches, sweated 20 times more than I do back at home, had an upset stomach (and more...), and got weird rash/bumps on my skin.
Plus, I was told about Texan snakes, spiders, and other random critters that don't exist in the snowy north. And I guess "pop" doesn't exist either. It's "soda." And they think I say "bag" funny too...

Overall, though, it's been a great experience! I've met a lot of new friends and suprisingly, many Christians- including Christian musicians and honors students. The distractions are pretty bad, though. Sometimes, you feel like it takes a lot of willpower to say "no" and go study instead. As a person who's tried to get his hands on everything in high school, this will be one of the biggest things I need to work on as a college student.

While the "switchover" to freedom has been a little weird (no, mom, I don't always eat my vegetables at dinner...), the biggest change was actually in the professors.

A few deep thoughts:

Being in the honors college, you are influenced heavily by academia and there is a lot of intellectualism. Now, obviously, this is not bad in and of itself, but typically when you mix non-christians, liberalism, and academia, it can start turning your world as you know it upside down. For one particular honors class, I get the feeling of a quasi anti-christian environment. The discussions are circular, because there really is no answer if you leave religion or Christ out of the picture. Topics like "why do you think humans developed a social contract structure, and why can't we just kill people if we feel like it," have no meaning if you don't believe that there is more to human life than just life itself and our "Freudian" instincts and desires. Just having the knowledge that we must shape our world is not enough. Knowledge without action is useless. Yet, knowledge is also a good foundation and grounds for argument, debate, and discussion about what we believe. It's just that it is very difficult to debate without Christ in the picture. If you're in a class where the professor refuses to let your beliefs influence the "purely academic nature" of the discussion, then what do you glean out of it as a Christian? nothing. It's the worldly view, not a Christian view. In fact, this view may cause you to question whether or not you can validate your faith in the midst of logical, academic thought. Both views, "worldly" and "Christian" are entirely different in thought, intent and also foundation. As Christians we believe in something more than the world. If you have a worldly view point, you see this as "it," with the necessity of "making it big," or creating a sense of false harmony in an undeniably unharmonious world. Making life just work for you and everyone around you- is that it? What is the point, if in the end, we die, and it comes down to nothing?

After just 2 sessions of the class, I can see why it is so easy for college students (and philosophy majors.. lol) to question their faith in college and turn away. We debate about things that nobody can come to a conclusion about, but yet, the professors make it seem like it IS the answer.

I chose music as a major because I love it. But another reason is that I really dislike certain aspects of academia. As much as it can be good and necessary, it is so easy to get sucked up into the mindset that you know enough that you don't need anybody or anything to tell you otherwise. As you delve in and study in your fields, it is no suprise that some professors reflect their interpretations of certain texts or theories that they study. It's undeniable- for example, you couldn't say that I'm a pianist but that I don't believe in playing music. How the professors teach, you can tell what they think and believe- skepticism.
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On an entirely different note, I have gotten in really close contact with the Intervarsity Fellowship on campus. I'm praying that this is the right group that God has called me to be on. I'm also praying that God will lead me to a good older Christian mentor. That definitely encouraged me during my high school years back at home.


I hope all is going well in all your lives as well. If you're actually taking the time to read this, I know you're a close friend or one that knows me well, and I really appreciate it.

More to come later.

blessings,

-KKZ

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.

(flashback to 7/27/09)
Got back from summer conference. Liked the message, but thought that the conference itself was kind of a disaster- people going off campus to do as they wanted, people messing around with each other, and general chaos/disorganization...

My thoughts:
hmm... one week til Teen Camp, and then one week til college. Whatever- I have no expectations of meeting God, especially after I didn't really [choose to] find Him after SC or any other retreat for the past year for that matter...

(8/11/09)
Boy was I WRONG. And thank God I was wrong. Teen Camp was different. It's not a spiritual high, because right now- even 3 days after it ended, I still feel nearly as passionate about Christ as I did when I was there. I like to think of it as an "awakening" rather than a "high."

The best part was that the people there already had two bonds- one in Christ and one as asians!

I really wanted to have the same passion for Christ that some of them had during worship and just in general. One guy I talked to- who I got to know pretty well during camp- responded in this way when I asked him about his passion for Christ: "the only reason is because of His grace." That really hit me hard. So many times, growing up in church all my life, I take for granted the real nature that is Christ. Often, we forget how much his sacrifice means, and how easy and lazy you can be a Christian in America, without persecution. Teen Camp really inspired me (plus the worship was awesome and not distracting, so you could really really focus) and hopefully that will carry on as I leave for college next week. I thank God for showing me something, even though I didn't even ask or expect it. This is a true example of Him pulling us back to the relationship, even if we have strayed and don't want to come back.

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On a different note, most of the Teen Campers were from CCUC in Chicago. Many times when colleges were brought up during the week, I got this: "YOU'RE CRAZY. YOU'RE NOT GOING NORTHWESTERN AND YOU GOT ACCEPTED?!?"

Getting ready for bed today, it kind of hit me. Northwestern was right there on my doorstep and I DID pass it up. Just like that. Yes you can say "it's more of a hype than what it's made out to be," but really, there would have been so many benefits: close to home, strong music program, big name, hardworking student body, right next to Chicago and Chinatown, I could visit my CCUC friends, it's right next to a lake- (water? in Houston? ha...), though the loans would be more than Houston, I would be paying considerably less than most Northwestern students. What more could you ask for?

Yet, I believe that there's a reason I'm going to the U of Houston. What that reason is, I'm not sure yet. I guess I'll tell you when I find out. What I do know is that I have to trust that God has a purpose for all this, whether or not I can see the end result...

6 days left.... My next post will probably be from the land of cowboys and country music.


Hasta más tarde,

-K.k.Z.

TC'09 STRONGER. Seniors '09.